Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
