Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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