What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
