This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
