The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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