I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
