trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
