entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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