went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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