Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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