Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
