Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
