you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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