They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
