Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
