hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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