I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
