between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
