I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
