Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
