Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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