It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
