So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
