I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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