I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
