hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
