Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
