Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
