Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
