I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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