you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
