I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
