we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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