She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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