I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
