woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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