I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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