I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
