how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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