I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
