i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
