omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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