At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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