is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
