ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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