is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
