Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
