Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
