How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
