Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
